Relationships are not always full of sunshine and rainbows. They can be hard work, so this is how to set boundaries in a relationship.
When it comes to learning how to set boundaries in a relationship, it all starts with openness and honesty. If you can’t be true to yourself and truthful with your partner, boundaries won’t help.
But, what boundaries should you set? This is up to you entirely. But I do have some ideas to share. Maybe these are things you haven’t even thought of and now you’ll consider them.
1. Expectations.
Boundaries are not just stopping points in a relationship, but also expectations. What do you and your partner expect from one another? I’m assuming neither of you is a mind reader, that means you have to tell each other what you want from one another.
Let your partner know if you expect to talk every day. Let them know if you expect them to do certain things, like have dinner with your family once a week. If you don’t communicate about what you both expect from one another, you will both begin to resent each other for not living up to your expectations.
2. Fights.
You may think having boundaries set for fights is jinxing it. But, all couples fight. And having boundaries set for the inevitable will help your fights end amicably rather than in a rage.
A great time to set this boundary is before you even have your first fight. Talk about what behavior is okay and what isn’t. Will you go to bed angry or work things out before laying down? Will you give each other space to calm down or talk it through? Is it okay if one of you leaves?
Discuss what behaviors are okay and not okay in an argument. And decide the most appropriate course of action for your relationship moving forward.
3. Social media.
In today’s day and age, your social media status can really affect your relationship, so having boundaries set here can prevent future misunderstandings. Are you going to be official on social media? Are you going to post cute couple pictures?
Or are you both more private and want to keep things on the DL? This is something you should discuss. Ensuring you are both on the same page with the online PDA will make sure you don’t push someone’s boundaries.
4. Me time.
Relationships can be all-consuming, but having time for yourself is vital. Discuss that with your partner. Make sure they know it isn’t that you don’t want to spend time with them, but you need time alone too in order to maintain your identity separate from the relationship.
You can even schedule a few times a week for you two to go off on your own.
5. Date nights.
When you first meet, dates are how you get to know one another, but once the honeymoon phase is over, dates can turn into falling asleep watching The Office on the sofa.
Set boundaries in your relationship. Maybe you agree on one date night per week or one per month, where you actually go out and do something new and exciting. Not only does this help keep the spark alive, but it can prevent a rut from forming.
